Lessons have gotten kinda strange lately…

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I’m sure you guys have noticed (assuming you’ve been reading all my lesson blog posts) that lately my lessons have been less about working on specific pieces, techniques, etc. than they used to be. Now it’s about breathing, emotions, mental states, attitudes, how techniques feel as I do them. Last lesson she was able to tell me exactly what I was thinking and feeling just from hearing me play a single octave of C major! It was really quite interesting because this is a theme that has cropped up through many facets of my life in the past also — whatever you are thinking will be expressed in whatever it is you are doing! Fear, doubt, self-deprecation, mental cringes, frustration, etc. can all be heard!

Hm. Got distracted for a while and forgot where I was going with this. This way of approaching things is very interesting because it seems like I’m not working on anything, yet I’m certainly making a great deal of progress. It’s frustrating and difficult because what I’m essentially working on is myself, but so far it seems to be worth it!

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2 responses »

    • Right now it feels like the part where I’m going crazy!

      Last lesson my teacher used an example from the fourth suite to demonstrate a point and said to me something to the effect of “if we ever work on the fourth suite together you’ll understand why this is so important” and it totally broke my heart that it’s so distinctly possible that she and I will never work on it together! I just wanted to scream “we better fucking work on it one day!” but didn’t (I was a good girl and actually paid attention to the important point she was trying to make.)

      This utter lack of being able to play anything that I give a shit about is both maddening and saddening.

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