Today’s lesson was just what I needed. All we worked on was breathing. Obviously I played stuff — scales, one of the songs I’ve been working on, various exercises — but today was all about the breathing. Somehow just having her there to talk to about what I was working on and how I was working on it made a really big difference. At one point she even told me to pause for a moment and revel in my success (her words not mine.) Now if only I didn’t have to think so hard about it all and put so much effort into making pretty sounds come out of my cello. She’s convinced that one day it really will be automatic for me. I’m definitely not convinced.
We also worked on some new exercises that involve singing and the cello. It took her a while to even get me to be willing to try, but I didn’t actually fail and in fact succeeded far more than I expected to. She wants me to work on the same exercises this week at home, which I might actually do if I can find a time where I’m actually home alone (not likely.)
I got all my theory work done that’s due for the rest of the semester and I don’t have class this week, so hopefully I should be able to practice a bit more than normal. We’ll see. I’m finding it very hard to practice when everything I need to do is all about breathing. It yields beautiful results, but I still keep trying to avoid it. And now there are the voice exercises. I have absolutely no trust in my own voice and it’s terribly emotional for me to try singing anything at all. I spent my whole life not singing because as a child every time I tried I got made fun of in the same way that people today make fun of Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black. Maybe this is just my teacher’s way of making all the breathing exercises seem like fun…
In any case, I got to hear pretty sounds come out of my cello today — and I was the one playing it!